I miss Einstein.
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The
Pink Room: Thoughts About Intentional Living
Chapter
11/ Confessions that Make Me Sound Bad
Part
2 (Previous post contain the previous chapters.)
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“I
hope that is chocolate,” is never a thought you should have--questioning
something like that means it is in a weird place and that there is a kid or
animal near.
My
sister had a cat. Strange textured questionable substances would show up after
the cat arrived. Einstein was a girl. Our friend, Lisa, found her. She was
declawed and living in a barn. They were cat people so they took her home,
hoping to find her a permanent home. My sister always wanted a cat, and their
love story began.
I
did not liked cats before but I liked that cat. I didn’t want to like the cat.
She smelled funny and left clumps of hair everywhere, not to mention the other
presents. She would use the litter box, littler would stick in her paws. There
would be littler pebbles falling out of her furry paws all over you. Disgusting.
You could not get away from it.
She
was very pretty though, mostly white and grey but calico. She had big hazel and
blue eyes. She had a serious disposition and I think Einstein thought she was a
person. Not like Andre, one of our friend’s other cats. Andre was the other cat
I liked.
I
was standing in Lisa’s kitchen, telling a story, being all animated. For some
reason the story entailed putting one leg forward. When I did that, Andre
jumped onto my kneed and was suddenly nose to nose with me. I screamed.
Everyone
laughed. Several minutes later, they finally calmed down. Through laughter, I
found out that Lisa’s husband, Dan, had trained Andre to jump into his arms. I
didn’t know!
Andre
was sitting about three feet from me looking over his shoulder and acting hurt.
Big puppy-dog eyes peering over his shoulder at me, Andre thought he was a dog.
Maybe
that is what gave me the idea to train Einstein. Anytime I was alone with the
cat I’d fill it with treats. They were rewards for reproducing tricks. I spent
much time teaching it tricks. Within a year the cat would roll over, turn in a
circle, hug your wrist, lie down and stand on her back legs very briefly. I
thought it was great, people didn’t believe me until I showed them—you can’t
train a cat, they’d tell me. I had hand signals or would tap on a surface. Guests
would accidentally trigger the different tricks when they were talking with
their hands. Poor Einstein would wait and wait for a treat. If I noticed, I’d
give her one.
I
found great joy in experiments with the cat, like covering her paws with
tinfoil and letting her try to walk on carpet. She’d shake the foil booties off
one leg at a time. A used gift bow, with just a little adhesive left, would
stick to her fur amazingly well. If you put it on her head, she’d look like she
was head-banging. I meant no real harm.
There
was a night that the cat got riled up. There was a balloon involved. My brother
was responsible for the incident. The cat freaked out. The cat started running.
She ran up the stairs and back down several times, I think sixteen steps in
total. On the fourth run, the cat missed the last step. She hit the linoleum
with all her momentum, slid across the eight feet of flooring and rammed right
into the refrigerator door. That poor thing was so dazed and confused she just
sat there. It couldn’t walk straight for several minutes.
It
is one of those moments where you need to ask “are you okay” before you laugh—I
did not pass the test. I apologized to my sister but could not stop laughing.
The cat slid across the linoleum!
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Sometimes
my sense of humor can get me into trouble. Slightly irreverent and anything
ridiculous may send me into giggles I am never laughing at people but sometimes
it could look like I am. I hope no one feels mocked or
ridiculed by me, ever. It is never my intention.
I believe God gives us flaws to make
sure all humans feel at home together. If we view our flaws in the greater context,
they should create humility and understanding. When we try to hide our
weaknesses and pretend they are not there, we lose sight and do harm. But if we are
honest and apologetic about them we create community.
