dear world...

I recently wrote this to another blogger: 
I’m sorry that our culture and/or people around us don’t always allow the whole story to be shared, the full picture to be viewed or to entertain the full perspective of one view of the world.
My mom always says, “listen to everyone’s advice; then do what you want.” So, my prayer for you is that you are encouraged through it, that you find a way to say what you want to, that you have a refreshed view of the audience you serve and that it is all helpful to you in the end.

And my prayer for you is the same.

Sissinghurst Castle Garden

http://www.invectis.co.uk/sissing/

I heard this NPR story on Sissinghurst Castle Garden and the family who remains on the property...

There is a long history and a sad demise and revolutionary return, although in a different capacity. The strange thing that was said, the thing that caught my attention was that the speaker said, "it is about loss ... decline and failure are built into it ... beautiful failure."

The idea revolved around the gardens becoming overgrown and unkempt. The viewers and keepers take some joy in parts of the garden being neglected and the ruins never truly being restored. There is a hint of ugliness or the unplanned; AND it is celebrated.

It is like this with many things. The unplanned or unexplained, the ugliness or the broken somehow emphasize the beautiful parts because of their stark difference. Sometimes it is a hint of humanity or imperfection ... it is like this with pottery. Often a fingerprint is left to indicate that it was touched by those human hands. The imperfection makes it even more desirable.

I wonder if that is how Jesus feels about us.

I don't know what's ahead but I don't want to go back

I had this thought the other day: I don't know what's ahead but I do not want to go back.

It is a rather scary time for me, in a culture of stability, to have no permanent things in my life.

There are thresholds, moments when you cross some sort of metaphoric boundary into another phase. It is strange how I can pin point a few moments in life where, without a decision, things would have been dramatically different.

I wonder what purpose those tidbits of memory serve in the grand scheme of things.

What I do know is that I can't know. And I am glad I'm here, I wouldn't want to go back.

The Royal Wedding prayer

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy. 

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.           

I thought their prayer was extraordinary because of it's simplicity. Simple things are often quite beautiful. 




 

Hope in the wrong things.

I've always been a fool for hope. I get sucked into the beautiful idealism of a new idea. My imagination gets going and I dream about the "hows" and "ifs" and "whens" of it all.

It sucks.

There is a deceit in hope. It can be like a grand spun story or a gigantic lie. The devil wears blue jeans, you know?!

BUT...

If you are the rare bird who is able to consistently place hope in the right place, Jesus, you will be spared the picture slipping away, the dream dying or the heartbreak of unfolding idealism.

If you are able to embrace the moment where a flower is at its most-perfect state, enjoy it fully and release it to the cycle it must take then you see the beautiful truth. This moment is temporal and strangely beautiful if we can release it to a greater plan--one that we may not understand.

Beautiful, like shells and poetry

Shells on the ocean shore, in Portland, appeared to be butterflies. I took a series of photos. I've thought about different things to do to or with them but they are sort of nice just as they are.

Between moments of serendipity and challenges..it has been a full few years. But here and there something beautiful, like these shells, interrupts and I pause and wonder about how such perfectness just happened.

It is just something beautiful, like poetry...and sometimes when I read scripture it surprises me, sometimes it ebbs and flows like poetry.

The other night I came across this verse:

God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, restoring dignity and respect to their lives--a place in the sun!
2 Sam. 6---> The Message

Take care of my family

I did these cards, with art on the fronts, for an experiment with a friend to build wells and feed orphans.

They were good but not real lucrative. I would not trade the experience though.

As I've been thinking about and hoping for another project to come along it occurred to me that tithing is like God asking us to take care of his family. I've never thought of it like that before but any act of charity or kindness is essentially that. When we give, we are providing for the larger body of people somehow.

I don't think we are required to do it but I think God is really thankful when we do step up. It is not unlike a mother or father providing meals and care for children, it is not unlike vets or doctors caring in their ways either...

Will you take care of our family here on earth? What will you do? How will  you do it? I am asking myself as much as you...

Good Mourning

I've been thinking a lot about mourning this week. I have had a really overwhelming stretch. An enormous amount of change, a challenging relationship landscape, a very strange job situation and many other things...

This weekend someone said to me, "just let yourself be sad and mourn it for a while." Yeah, I don't really wanna do that, however, I suppose it would be wise to address the feelings and not let them undermine the rest of life. Buried stuff just doesn't do much for a person.

So, I suppose I'll devote a little time to that, maybe a walk...something like that.

Mary, the Madonna, in the Michelangelo recreation above reflects those emotions. Not weeping, not inconsolable but reflective.

I just, also, listened to this clip: Part of [@donmilleris] session from Catalyst. http://ow.ly/4YKyV/ . And it is a good idea to enter time of reflection with some perspective on the whole of your life.

It is okay to be sad, but only for a while. After that, eyes up, you just don't know what's ahead.

"I'm gonna take care of you."

Yes, when I pray I sometimes sorta feel an impression of an idea, almost like words. It is often comforting, sometimes startling, and always welcomed. It took years of practice praying to be in this place. It takes time and quiet, it takes a clear head and a willingness to set aside all the distractions of life...

Meditating it is not, it is more like breathing, like walking, like an  intentional slowing to a resting place with a purpose. I've come to learn that if I show up with the idea "what do you have for me" I often receive some impression. Often it addresses the thing that is winding up my time and thoughts, sometimes it is regarding things I didn't know were bothering me. The last one was, "I'm gonna take care of you."

I haven't realized, until the last few days, but subtly over the last few weeks I've had this idea re-occur in my mind: just who do I think God is? How powerful is God? Do I think this is out of His control? 

Unfortunately, I do not act like I have a powerful God very often. That is a shame. That is not a good reflection of what I truly believe.

This photo of the Tiger Lilly has a beautiful quality about it, I have loved it since I took it. There is a sweet magical something about it that has little to do with the flower and a lot to do with reflected light and shadow.

If it weren't for the reflected light there would be a flower it would be beautiful but not necessarily striking, the water would not be seen although present. There is also dimension, pattern, movement contrast and value added because of the light and shadow.

I will be learning this lesson for a long time: I reflect what I act out regarding my beliefs of His power--I need to be intentional about deciding to believe in a powerful God. I also have dimension added to life by the shadows, these, over the whole, add texture and a beauty of their own--in the end I will be glad for that as well. I can gaurentee I will not learn this lesson quickly. And it will probably be introduced over and over...

Vultures and Hummingbirds both fly

I made this image for a woman I know who had triplets. One of each was put one a onesie for the babies. It is a cute idea. Children not claiming responsibility for trouble or for knowing something, but it is less cute when adults do the same thing.

I've struggled with present reality situations when others just avoid something because it is uncomfortable, I have a hard time not clearing the air--but you need two parties to cooperate to have that happen. It is sad that we live in a culture where we have so many distractions and enough affluence that we can just ignore "stuff" when it is uncomfortable. We might need one another to be healthy and according to the Bible, to experience true community is a part of active faith; but we can "function" without one another so we do that, it is easier not to be in others lives and junk.

I heard someone say once, "vultures and hummingbirds both fly"...both are looking for food, one fills itself with death and one with new life. Evidently, I didn't remember this until I did a search online, it is also a verse in Philippians somewhere. It is a brilliant contrast visually, and metaphorically.

The size, the lot in life, the things each look for... these are very different creatures.

I would like to be one seeking out opportunities and new life; it is very difficult to keep focused and devote time to what's important in a life filled with distractions of all kinds.

I still choose the TV over friends or sleep over prayer, even though I know they are dead ends. But it is a substitute less and less often as I realize, with time, I need each more.

I'm not saying' but I'm just saying

A couple times in my life I have had the unique privilege of wondering if people had seen my art before something else was made.

Now, obviously, this would be interesting and I don't necessarily believe that Michael's people ripped me off but, to me, there were so many similar elements...it made me wonder.


I did the poster below in 2002 or so.

But it is a strange feeling to know, and again, not this case but there were a couple others that were regional, that someone looked at your work and decided they could do it, too. Some say it should flatter you, I'm not sure, some say it is a compliment...sorta feels like being taken advantage of.

What did I learn from this? If you are going to "borrow" some idea from someone, combine it, change it and make it your own.

It was not okay with me when someone used a specific combination of geometric shapes copying something in my work...but it is okay with me if, like the the left, people use the spirit of the work, so to say, to create their own.

3 year old artist

My niece is 3 and she says she wants to be a painter when she grows up. She's pretty good at it. She and I did this painting last winter. It was pretty great.

I gave her the paint and told her to cover the whole background. It took about an hour to get the white canvas covered. I came behind her and added some directional stokes and later added the leaf prints. The color is all her.

My mom and dad have above their mantel. They are very proud of it and love to tell the story...I can't find my pictures of the process, which makes me very sad, otherwise they'd be shared here.

But along the theme of "what am I learning from my art?" I would say that I learned about flexibility, chance and they joy of the unexpected. Watching a 3 year old get consumed into a large project and just go crazy painting away, making random choices and then it turning out quite nicely was awesome.

You are incredible

"You are incredible."

I don't feel incredible but I've had the pleasure of hearing this a bunch of times over the last year, I can't say I believe it but that's what they said...

It stemmed out of relaying stories of wells, cookies, art and festivals--because of writing stories about these art pieces and taking some chances on shows and sales. I'm not incredible. I just made a decision: I have little to lose but some time and money. Risk and fear are the only big threats and neither is "real;" they are only emotionally based if you if you really think about it.

This piece is a Monotype, besides scanning and reproducing a copy, there is no way to make the same image again. They are truly one of a kind prints. We are all one of a kind, sorta like these with all the variation that comes from layers of trials and things pressed into it...you can't see what you are going to get until you choose to peel the paper up, the timing is up to you, the angle and pressure create the impression but is done mostly blind--paper face down.

We don't get to choose a lot of what happens to us, but there are a lot of things we do get to choose. Being active and pursuing something on your heart with, at least, some of your time, talking to people about what you want to accomplish and what they want to accomplish, and taking a risk or as Grace Pettis said at a house concert I went to, being willing to make a fool out of yourself for your art (whatever that is to you).

Don't sit and wonder, make strides toward, even if you only see a tiny part of the dream right now...pursue that. It is easy not to move toward a dream or idea. It is against the laws of physics to change course, expect to be tired or frustrated but it is more important to try.

I have not "accomplished" much but I have a significantly different outlook than I did a year or so ago. Not to mention having the pleasure of watching the effects on others and what has happened in a few lives, one in particular; another story for another time... At any rate, we shall see what the future holds. No matter what, I can say I've tried.

The Heart of the Matter

I'm working on this piece. It has a life of it's own. No irony intended with that phrase and the heart imagery...

I had this sample drawing I loved. I wanted to preserve it forever. So I took it and glued it to a board. Well, I was very sad to see that the paper expanded with the glue and then dried. I was left with a lumpy surface with a whole bunch of pockets of air underneath. There were a few options: trash it all, a good support down the tubes; or I could chisel it off and save the board, which would trash the drawing...or...a long shot, I could gently peel up the drawing in pieces, at least saving some pieces, and figure out how to treat the board.

That's what I did--the long shot. It worked okay but then I was left with a fuzzy paper-textured board. I gesso-ed it. Then came the collage, the pieces of the drawing found their way back to the board and finally more texture with dots and lines of gesso.

I wanted to do another heart, since the "It was:" piece. And the resource picture seemed to fit okay...this is the beginning. I will draw on it and add some whites in the next week or so. I think it will be finished shortly, but you never do know about these things.

"It Was: Hoping for Pentecost"

What I really like is that it was the long shot. I am finding out that the best ones are; that the less ownership I take, the less I get attached to a certain idea or imagery of the final product, the less I make it about my likes and dislikes, the less I believe there is a right and wrong way to approach things, the less I let my feelings get in the way the more I am pleasantly surprised by what happens. But isn't that the truth about life.

Alcatraz

It is interesting when you are confronted with something you didn't know and don't really understand.

I was at Alcatraz a few years ago and could not figure out why there was graffiti all over the island's signs...

Needless to say, I missed out on a pretty interesting history lesson until about 3/4 through the day. I'll let you do your own research.

I think of the rare, neglected and strangely beautiful place here and there. I was interesting and strange with all kinds of things to look at and read. There is a strange Gothic vibe in many of the pictures from there. And of course a sorted history, full of violence and protests.

I'm glad I don't know too much about violence or protests, I don't really understand either...and I'm thankful for that. In some way I think it also dulls my capacity to understand my need for a Christ figure, too.

Without a desperate need in your life, there is no desperate action toward saving grace. I appreciate what I know and who I believe Jesus to be but I am not sure I, as an American, know Jesus in the same way other people in the world do.

I don't know if I can do this...

I remember a day, a few years ago, when I thought "I don't know if I can do this." It was a clear realization about what Jesus was actually asking me, and all of us, to do. Simply to trust him, that's all he's asking; if that's all He's asking why does it feel like soooooo much?

The thought rang so clearly because I knew, without a doubt, that for someone who likes to plan ahead, trusting God with my whole life would not lend to that. For that matter, the results would be messy and not easy to explain. How do you show people there is ultimate trust when nothing but struggle lies in the wake of your days and years? You don't. Time might but you don't...

There is no easy answer but it is simple. You don't, I can't, God does. We are the ones making it complicated almost always. We find methods and degrees of distraction, we ask unfair questions to give ourselves excuses, we sometimes just get angry and turn away...

My thought was so clear, "...it's too much to handle, to do...really trusting God with, Everything? I don't know if I can do that." I came to the conclusion that I can't do it. Even faith is too much for just me to handle on my own, he's going to have to give me enough to live that kind of life and if it's his will, I guess he will. But there is this beautiful prayer Jesus prayed for us about having faith and being one with God, in the New Testament, so that is the beginning of my hope. Then there is that whole thing about God having a plan and winning the whole thing in the end...I guess that's something.

The hardest part, for me, is needing him. I have wholeheartedly bought into the American myth of independence. I want to believe I am a vessel unto my self that can do it all by myself. That is untrue. I can't do Christianity all by myself, I think God actually lets us stumble on this in order to bring about unity and community, we are designed to need each other and him. When this gets out of whack in our lives we begin to need unhealthy things.

I will believe that God is enough for the gap between my knowing and my doubt, today. I can only promise this for today, sometimes just this moment. I want to do more and get ahead and stock up a bit but it doesn't seem to work that way, I'm sorta getting the impression he likes to stick closely by.

So, again today, I will pray for some wisdom, for God to go ahead of me and show me the best way, for those I'm with to give me favor or the benefit of the doubt, for Jesus to shine through...to help me be the best version of myself and to help me see his hand a little in it all, to bless and protect all those I love...and then about a prayer a minute for the rest of the day. Those are a bit funnier: get me to work on time, bless that idiot driver, oh and thanks for the food, give me a positive attitude, thanks for the parking spot...you know.

So, has it been a good decision? Yes. Has it been easy? No. But it is getting a bit easier each day as I discover the unwavering faithfulness of God and learn to see it in action, learn to embrace the ebb and flow of it or whatever comes next.

I'm still learning this, each day is like a little recovery and reclamation from a very inset way of doing life. There is a metaphor in there somewhere, a lot like the picture of my niece above, but I'm without words--what I do hope: I hope I have the strength to continue to let him be the strong one. I hope I have the wisdom to let him be the wise one. I hope I have the energy to remember that none of it is really my burden to carry because I can't do it anyway...it is the strangest oxymoron of all time, and I am relieved to be learning it. Now, if I'd just remember that.

An unexpectedly satisfying radically simple show.

I just installed the show at NWTC. It is, officially, my first solo show. It was quite a weight off my mind to get this up and ready. I still need to put tags up but I am happy to say, minus one small oversight it went off without a hitch...thanks to my wonderful cousin, Abby.

I've been blessed by this young, selfless, woman. We went and moved cables and hooks, and dealt with a crabby computer person, and just slowly but surely whittled away at, what felt like, a daunting task.

All in all, I can not complain, I over planned in a ridiculous way. The things I thought I had to get ready and just didn't have the time for really didn't need to get done. This way, it is simple and straight-forward, which I really like.

I guess, I'm learning that sometimes, well, most of the time, less is more. I am beginning to want radical simplicity and I never thought I'd say that.

Starting afresh...sort of.

I recently hosted an art sale. A last grab, for anyone interested, at older and neglected art pieces. I promised that the pieces left would get recycled. Here's the proof that it has begun.

There is now a pile of pieces of prints and drawings, that I just ripped up, sitting on my table. A strangely therapeutic enterprise, I will admit. It is interesting looking at the prints in a new light--I looked for the parts that seemed usable, the parts I've always been drawn to, the parts that are interesting. Some will end up as cards, some will end up in new mixed media pieces, some will eventually get thrown away.

In the meantime, it is a good thing to move the stagnant old stuff around and rework it for a number of reasons that this experiement has made me aware of. 1. If I dwell on and hang onto old work I do not create (for more reasons, for another time.) 2. A new perspective on tired pieces is good. 3. This gives the created work a purpose instead of letting it rot or throwing it away. 4. It is really nice to do away with the parts that irritate you or frustrated you...

...a lot like life...not exactly but kinda...I'll let you draw out the metaphor.

Art and Fear, learning from Offering Art for Sale.

When you put your stuff out there you are also opening yourself up to criticism, to admiration and to having you stuff hanging in someone's house. :/

I try not to over think it. I'd become completely overwhelmed with fears and hopes and longing...possibly even snatching back neglected pieces or moving them around someone's house, for a less central or more appropriate location.

There is this book called "Art and Fear," by David Bayles and Ted Orlando, with many quotable quotations. Rereading it has brought new ones to light for me, a couple good ones for today:

"The conventional wisdom here is that while "craft" can be taught, "art" remains a magical gift bestowed only by the gods. Not so. In large measure becoming an artist consists of learning to accept yourself, which makes your work personal, and in following your own voice, which makes your work distinctive."

"Art is like beginning a sentence before you know its ending. The risks are obvious: you may never get to the end of the sentence at all--or having gotten there, you may not have said anything. This is probably not a good idea in public speaking but it's an excellent idea in making art.  ... People who need certainty in their lives are less likely to make art that is risky, subversive, complicated, iffy, suggestive or spontaneous. What's really needed is nothing more than a broad sense of what you are looking for, some strategy for how to find it, and an overriding willingness to embrace mistakes an surprises along the way. ... And tolerance for uncertainty is the prerequisite to succeeding."


(The image above was made for a 100 hole golf marathon that supported a ministry in Northeastern Wisconsin.)

Nativity:What I'm learning from my art.

This piece, to the right, is the inspiration for two abstracted pieces called "Nativity." (Below.) Some things are timeless, I guess. I never really thought about it but The Nativity Story is timeless. The most requested (so far) types of pieces that I've made are images that of The Nativity or Life.

It is interesting that I also did not anticipate that, or the idea that people would actually want this stuff. There is something a bit intimidating about knowing that the art that you scribbled or played with or experimented upon is valued by someone else. I'm still learning how to process that idea.

What I'm learning is that we all need to respond to the talents we've been given; and we all need to honor our talents in some way--it doesn't matter how.

POOF, it is right there.

 

I drew this a really long time ago. It became the cover to a Christmas card for the company I worked for at the time. I never looked at a picture, it developed out of a dark mark by one of the eyes and sorta spiraled out from there. The weird part is that I always look at, what I like to call, "resource images" to get things right--whatever "right" is in art. But there have been a few times where there is little effort need, as if the piece already existed and all you have to do is wave some sort of media in it's general direction, then POOF, it is right there.

Life feels like that when I pray a lot, things move and flow and open with ease. I don't always pray--more now than ever before in my life, but it is easier now, too. I've found God to be reliable and friendly and excited to be with me, I couldn't have said that a few years ago.

But my prayers are funny now to, short and curt, often. Things like, "well, if that is gonna happen, make it happen--I'm done." And I rather think God enjoys that, he knows my heart of hearts anyway--why pretend he doesn't?

“After SanFrancisco”

“After SanFrancisco”
March 2007
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Collagraph Print
Notes: Juried Art Exhibition UWGB, Art Annual at Neville Public Museum 2007, Shown at Gallery Night Green Bay 2009

Collagraphs are great. You pile or peal a bunch of stuff off a piece of mat board or something firm. Then you seal the dickens out of it with something insane like lacquer. Mine was, quite literally, a shoe print—I colored the bottom of my MaryJane Crocs with marker and stepped on my art project, then carved out the printed part. Then I got a bunch of organic stuff and glued it down for the branches, here something like baby’s-breath. And finally, I “build” Polaroid type pictures and placed them down.

All in all, this is a scrapbook of my trip to see my bother while he lived in San Jose. We walked all over the place, took a ton of pictures and saw some great vegetation, Alcatraz, the sea lions at the pier and more.

Avoiding the Muse

I'm look for the next series to create. Ideas are not flowing freely which normally means a great big shift in the foundational work that I'll be making in the near future.Faces are great. I'm not planning to stop but I think I'll take a break for a while...but it is time for something new. I had hoped to be around ceramics again soon, maybe this summer. I have a ton of ideas for ceramics. I hope to work with clay again...I miss it but that is another story.

I have been thinking about concepts like beauty, pain, heartbreak and mentorship a lot. Maybe the new series will be something along one of those lines. BUT It is difficult to work when you don't feel creative, what I've realized is that it just takes sitting with the materials, not thinking so much, and moving forward. Just create. Many people over-think, fear approaching an idea...and a ton of other things.

At a summer studio I watched my cohort work on the same piece day after day after day and wondered if she was avoiding the thing that was on her mind. I do that. When there is an idea that I'm not sure how to approach I will often avoid it for weeks (or longer). Avoiding it does two things. It drives the desire to create that thing, whatever it is, into a strange place--a restless place, and it also drives to you try to feel productive on some other thing. When it comes to creativity and creating I've realized that I just need to face it head-on, it can be fixed later if need be, but it (whatever it is) won't give me peace until it is released into the world.

Bonhoeffer might have liked Claiborne

Messages of grace being cheapened and how we are isolated are kinda at the core of my concerns for America. 

Shane Claiborne was part of starting a community of Christians that serve each other and many other things that fulfill needs of people. It isn't surprising that people like him, with the controversial message of limitless grace, are misunderstood.  People like Bonhoeffer might have liked him. Bonhoeffer spent many of his days in jail writing about the need for an understanding of grace, real nitty gritty grace, not the kind that says: say this prayer and just live however you want cuz God'll forgive you anyway--that is what Jesus was for, right?

Well, yes and no, I don't think we'll "get it" without an encounter with the real God, real Jesus, and real Holy Spirit. And in an entitlement-oriented culture with an agenda about our own livelihoods and dreams it is difficult for me to believe most of us really get it. Most days I don't "get it".  I'd like to believe that I'm useful to God, I wonder though, my myopic worldview and being consumed with the needs of the day really don't leave much room in my mind and heart for His work.

I guess I just keep praying that He can use me. He says, in the Bible, he likes it when we do that.

“Dreams”

“Dreams”
2010
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (intaglio print, acrylic, collage, conte)
Notes: Brand New

There are these medieval portraits, after Byzantine stuff, but still flat. The people seem made-up, lifeless and stoic. Most of the time there is something that stands out. This one I found has a veil. I never saw it before and thought her face would fit well within the space on this piece.  And, no, it isn’t me; The weirdest part is that people keep asking if it’s me. It isn’t but it is poetic or prophetic to think of it that way because I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on dreams.

What are dreams? Why are they there? Is God a sadist or are these nudges? How is restlessness productive and why do some of us get a double batch?

I want to be un-bothered by unrequited dreams like the lady in the medieval picture. And there are moments, after praying, that there is peace and an end to longing but it is tentative and not native to my flesh and bones.

So, I guess my lesson is: I probably should chat it up with the Big Guy a bit more and might then be able to find the contentment that this lady seems to have.

Keep Writing... I've got 1000s of letters to God.

I was on a blog the other day and happened to mention that people don't really read my blog. I got a comment, I wasn't trying to solicit favor or curiosity but I guess I manged to so that somehow.

The comment said "...keep writing..." I was a bit more than surprised. I am happy to write a little here and there, it is kind of fun. It helps me process the world around me and it is a new adventure to write out loud. (Blog.) Since I was 10 or 12, I kept a journal. It isn't a new thing, writing, but it is not something I've shared before...so someone telling me to keep doing it made me tilt my head, smile and then scrunch my face all up. Funny how some words or phrases can just nail stuff into place, good or bad.

So, I'm writing. I'm sitting at my cranky laptop, which will be replaced soon (take that--stupid laptop) and writing. It is interesting because I said I would, in 5th grade Mrs. C. asked us to list things about us. I had a flute and music, a piece of writing and something artistic...and more I can't recall. I remember thinking that I should really write because I said I like to, that's when the journals began; at the time, I thought it made me sound smart or sophisticated, because that is OBVIOUSLY what a 5th grader should be, sophisticated.

But it was a good thing, I found it difficult to start--listing things that happened, or dreams after waking, seemed boring and better suited for bulleted lists. I just couldn't figure it out, often thinking "who do you write to?" And it was awkward to write to crushes or friends, "what if someone found them?" Shortly after that time I began attending a youth group and decided they'd all be letters to God. I now have thousands of letters to God. There is a lot of whining and complaining and heartbreak in them but some interesting insights into trials and some poetic prayers, the whole ebb and flow of life, too.

Reconciliation & Desmond on Ferguson

 Reconciliation is not one of those things I look forward to, it implies that something is broken and needs to be repaired.

A little over a year ago I watched this interview with Desmond Tutu on Craig Ferguson. Ferguson is a guilty pleasure of mine and this particular combo was an amazing treat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUwGzHzdc0s&p=B2EF91B6B71487F5

I hope you will watch it.

Months of sun rises and sets.

I'm reading a book where the writer speaks of a sunrise on a series of pages and it reminded me that I have been taking a picture for many mornings of the different sunrises on the commute. I used to regret not getting up early enough for the sunrise but now I'm seeing them many mornings because of the earliness of my current schedule.

People will wax poetic about them and go on and on. I have a hard time trying to put words to what I see and feel with a great display. It isn't about the color or the light or the landscapes but how it all comes together...weird clouds or sun, dirty old buildings with gold or pink casts across them, almost anything becomes beautiful.

Like in Ecc. "...everything is beautiful in it's time". Here are some images.