Reconciliation & Desmond on Ferguson

 Reconciliation is not one of those things I look forward to, it implies that something is broken and needs to be repaired.

A little over a year ago I watched this interview with Desmond Tutu on Craig Ferguson. Ferguson is a guilty pleasure of mine and this particular combo was an amazing treat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUwGzHzdc0s&p=B2EF91B6B71487F5

I hope you will watch it.

Months of sun rises and sets.

I'm reading a book where the writer speaks of a sunrise on a series of pages and it reminded me that I have been taking a picture for many mornings of the different sunrises on the commute. I used to regret not getting up early enough for the sunrise but now I'm seeing them many mornings because of the earliness of my current schedule.

People will wax poetic about them and go on and on. I have a hard time trying to put words to what I see and feel with a great display. It isn't about the color or the light or the landscapes but how it all comes together...weird clouds or sun, dirty old buildings with gold or pink casts across them, almost anything becomes beautiful.

Like in Ecc. "...everything is beautiful in it's time". Here are some images.

Rainbows

I wanted to write about rainbows today.

I have this thing, I see them everywhere...they are really there, I'm not just saying that or going crazy. I liken it to a wink from God or a kiss on the cheek. It is like He's saying "I remember you..."

The new thing I'm noticing is a piece of a rainbow in the hazy clouds at sunrise or set. And then there are the ones that show up in spectrum from reflected light off of other things in the rear-view mirror on the night view or a watch crystal, things like that.

Rainbows are cool. They are visible and invisible light; if we could see the whole thing how much cooler would that be? I love that it is so much more extensive than what we can comprehend or see or understand. A great metaphor for, well, almost anything amazing.

I've seen some AMAZING shows in the rainbow arena. There was one during a passing thunderstorm while the sun was setting, one that appeared in all pinks at the absolute last possible minute and was nearly round--about twice as tall as most, there was the daily parade in Hawaii, and the doubles--love the doubles! The one above is from a plane window on the way to see Don Miller in Portland.  (Not Photoshop-ed.)

So be on the look out, God's trying to wink at you. :)

“Thumbprint”

“Thumbprint” 2008
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (Acrylic, silver leaf, hardware)
Notes: Shown at the Art Garage, Shown at Gallery Night 2009 

I had this great big thumbprint from magazine ad and I just liked it, there are all kinds of interesting things about that. Some might think that is a little strange but I can just get captivated by pattern and things that are the wrong size or wrong medium.

For instance, I saw this giant rubber stamp in Washington DC’s sculpture garden when I was a kid. It was probably 15 feet tall and made out of iron and that has stayed with me for all these years.

There is also a giant kitchen table and chair at the Tate in London but I won’t go into that here.   But to go further here this came out of the idea of the thumbprint of the potter.

I had a professor tell me that some potters will intentionally remove wet clay from the wheel and leave fingerprints because the imperfection is also a reminder that someone made it and it didn’t just appear. The imperfection of the mark of the maker therefore makes it more real and more perfect than if it had no blemishes at all. It is as though beauty is more beautiful when it is paired with ugliness.

I’ve noticed this strange anomaly for years: There are types of beauty that capture my attention and often they are next to something ugly which is why it becomes obvious they are beautiful. Like rainbows against a gray sky, sunlight on rusty boxcars, Band-Aids on children something about it moves your heart in a way unlike something with no flaws. 

We have the mark of the maker in us. Those who can embrace the beauty of being marked paired with our imperfection, those of us who can admit it and move forward with peace and understanding are truly beautiful.

“Charity”

“Charity”
June 2010
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (collage, conte, maker, acrylic)
Notes: Brand new.

Mother Teresa is a notable figure in modern history. When I think of making an impact for good in this world, for God or toward helping others I can only hope that it will be felt to a degree of her life’s contribution. The unflinching, selfless and humble work that was done quietly rocked the world. And because of the degree of compassion with which she did it the world saw despair and need that otherwise would not have been seen.

The collage of bright colors was the beginning of this piece—I soon realized that all these items were “happy” and often rather materialistic or manufactured. At the same time I had this image of Mother Teresa and it haunted me, one of those images you continually go back to. She has deep lines. She looks thoughtful. She has a plan. The work she would be doing would not be bright or colorful or manufactured but the opposite.

The collage and the portrait are both striking and both reflect on very different ideas. What ideas do you want to stand for? What will your life’s work be about?

I spend a great deal of my time searching for the next great scarf or enjoying the pursuit of material things—trying to find just the right color or the right fit but in actuality it has nothing to do with why I’m on this earth. I want to find out why I’m here.

This is not intended to stir guilt, sadness or regret. It is though, hopefully, a flag or a yield sign. Reflect. Think. Become aware.

I realized that we are all given a voice.

“Voice”
2006
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (ink, collage, foam core)

Notes: Independent showing at UWGB at the student gallery, given to GBCC in 2007 where it has been since. Voice became a concept to me as I explored art and outsider art. When I returned to school to get an Art Teacher’s license I became aware of this subtle theme coursing through “stuff”.

Even people with little or no awareness of why they were creating something, when asked, would say these revolutionary things ... they’d just spew them out. Unique ideas about life and culture, society and the way things "should" be.

I realized that we are all given a voice. That might be writing, music, art, business, math, it may be loud or have no sound at all but it is something we are intended to communicate through our life. All of these are similar in that they can express love and worship God but all are unique the person. Even if you and I have the same gift of creating art you and I will not say the same things through that art.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that it is critical that we all express our voice, whatever that is. No one is going to do it for you and no one can fill your place.

Art Appreciation 101

Looking at art is a good way to pass the time. Knowing which questions to ask lends to a more interesting experience when you look at art.

There are a few approaches. All of them end with analysis but it really isn't that heady...and it is art, so think of your own and add it to the list if you want. This is just a starting point and without crib notes, you can make it the experience you want. A more academic approach or a more free spirited one; what's important is that you enter the mind of the artist or you experience the piece a bit more fully.

So the analysis begins. Choose a piece of art.  (Right.)

"Heart Unbroken," 2007, By Sherri Baierl, Mixed Media on Hardboard, owned by a Green Bay couple.

Formal Analysis--Ask: which elements and principles of design did the artist use? Which were not used? How were they used? (Elements are: line, shape/form, color, value, texture, space--and all the types of each, these are the foundational pieces you build art with. The principles are: unity, pattern, movement, rhythm, emphasis, contrast--and how each is used, these are the ideas that pull art together and make it interesting.) After identifying each used, ask: what is added? (Interest, focal points...etc.) What could have been added? What would happen with or without any of those things or why are they a good/bad choice?

Content Analysis--This is the most straight-forward concept for representational art, and conversely the most confusing for non-representational. Ask: what's in the art? What's on the art? What's the art on? Look at the materials, the use of materials the media and the logic for using the medium(s).

Aesthetic Analysis--These are questions you may have but really have no answer. Things such as do you like it? Disagreement or uncertainty are great aesthetic discussion starters. Assumptions, larger philosophical concepts or theories...in short, the nature of beauty and taste.


Historical Analysis-- Ask: what was going on in the world, in the country, in the life of the artist? Who the artists friends were/are, who the influences are, what relationships looked like? (Always keeping in mind the title and ideas relevant to the imagery.) The relevant question, since this is a more personal piece is: what was going on in the life of the artist? And what was going on in her life? Or other things like: under what circumstances this was made? Was it a commission?

I'll let you decide the answers.


There is a lot to think and talk about if you want to do the thinking or talking. Just always ask: why? And just with that you have a great start.

"Grace"

“Grace”
June 2010
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (acrylic, collage, graphite, conte)
Notes: Brand new, Shown at Gallery Night Green Bay 2010

Grace Kelly was beautiful and her persona seemed to connote grace itself. I love value words and I love the meanings of names. It seems ironic how often people with the same names have similar traits and how value words as names either are right on or a crash and burn scenario. Unintentionally, I started a series of images of collage with a portrait drawn or painted on top. This was the first in the series.

Next, the one called “Dreams”, then “Charity”, then “Purity”...the unofficial first was the one called “Hope” but not a facial portrait. Shortly after I began these I heard a quotation, I forget by whom but believe it was at GBCC, that spoke about beauty being revealed in faces of those God created. I believe that is true. We are the only creatures to surround ourselves with beauty said one of the teaching pastors and other writers I have read. So, surround yourself and enjoy it and do not allow anyone to take that joy from you. I believe God takes pleasure in our ability to enjoy beauty.

About “It was: Hoping For Pentecost”

“It was: Hoping For Pentecost” 2008
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (collage, acrylic, copper leaf, intaglio prints)
Notes: Shown at Adullam Church, Shown at the ArtGarage, Shown at Gallery Night Green Bay 2009

Freddy Krueger knife-blade fingers seemed a bit too far, but they almost were added to the rips in the image. It used to be just the brown painting; a painting called “Hoping for Pentecost” (in the upper left of the image below) and it was made for a Good Friday service a few years ago. I never cared for the painting, but received some good feedback.

After a few years of shuffling it around, it came to represent a beginning of things that have now all pretty-much ended, and many, not so favorably. In effect, a great deal of the last three years has felt like Freddy Krueger took his knife bladed fingers and punched bad dream holes and ripped through my reality (or heart, as it were). Normally, I'm not that dramatic.

I suddenly looked back and thought: how did this happen? Still searching for employment, broke up with a boyfriend, the city was tearing down my house, my good friends all moved or had issues of their own and so many more things…and then, while at Studio 210, someone looked at it and said, “it looks so emotional” and all I said in return, because what can you really say when your world falls apart but “yah, it sorta is.”


And that is the story.

I hope to continue writing a better story, metaphorically. I hope that the next few chapters are less emotionally exhausting, a bit happier and all of the things you want, you know. I'd also like a husband, kids and some opportunities...but I'll take what I can get. God?! You listening?

Beauty and Pain--what I learned from "Purity"

I took this picture at The Grotto in Portland. The Grotto sits on top of a huge hill, for Wisconsinites it'd be a mountain.Inside one building there is a replica of Michelangelo's Pieta. Of course, being a master work it is remarkable but it is so much more striking in person than in this photo--in some respects it is almost too perfect.

There was this angle (to the left), where the figures were both separate and linked, where you can feel the weight on Mary...emotionally and of Jesus' lifeless body. This piece sits in a room that is nearly empty, save a few viewing chairs, and the view of the trees, which somehow becomes a part of the room (below).

The place is mysterious, holy, beautiful and serene. It is a great place for reflection. It is so quiet.

My work of the Madonna pales in comparison but is derived from pieces of the same era. There is just a sense of sadness around them and it stirs my heart.

What have I learned from this piece? I am captivated by the people of the Christmas story, their honor and faith are outstanding--and totally mind boggling. I look at images from the Renaissance and Enlightenment and wonder how close the artist got to the the real individual's look. It seems more fair to replicate a work of art, because then you aren't trying to get at the image of the real person, I'm not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but me.

This piece started as a collage of the neutral colored papers I saved from about 1995 through 2010. (The other items became a part of the piece I call "Charity".) This piece I call "Purity". The name is primarily because of the story the immaculate conception and Mary's holy reputation. It's too bad that Mary, the Madonna, has so much baggage associated with her because what she did and who she was is quite remarkable. 

It was made while with Studio 210. It's been shown a bit. I've had people comment that it reminds them of a "Salvador Dali." (Uh, wow, thanks!)

This particular image showed both beauty and pain. I'll have to scan the inspirational one sometime to post but it helped me realize how often that is the case. And it is also like the Bible verse that says something about "...beauty from ashes".  Many situations over the last few years have spoken to that idea. I hope that I can continue to hold those ideas closely looking for the beauty in ashes of hopes and dreams.

The idea of purity itself is also something that is close to my heart. As a single female in today's world there is little in the way of conversation or media or whatever that seems to hold purity high. Holding purity as a value is tough as an American. Even Oprah did a show on 30 year old virgins, her staff was so hung up on how rare that is. It all makes me sad. There is a place and a time for things. We've been handed some guidelines for the healthiest version of life, the type of life that keeps our spirits healthy and available to God.

The issue of purity is so big, you can go hundreds of directions with it. All I know is that I see a lot fewer heartbreaks, and value issues, with friends that endorse sexual purity and abstain from binge drinking or drugs than I see with those who indulge. But the desire for purity is often linked to your relationship with a higher power, so it is probably pretty important to start there...

After Julie's Work: What I'm learning from my art.

“After Julie’s Work”
August 2009
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (conte, charcoal, ink, graphite, pastel)
Notes: Shown at NWTC ArtWalk, Shown at the Art Garage, Shown at Gallery Night Green Bay 2009 & 2010

Julie M. is an artist, who I can never pronounce the name of and rarely remember how to spell, but I think she does outstanding work. This is a drawing that I did after I did a series of studies of her work where I tried to duplicate parts. They were unlike art I’d seen up to that point and were inspiring in that they could hold a lot and tell an interesting, action-filled,  dramatic story. This story is about my college years and all of the trials, testing, joy, fun, heartbreak and change that came with it.

The time was an exercise in flexibility. There is nothing like living among hundreds of people in close quarters.

There are all kinds of symbols wound around each other through the piece. A wing alluding to Julie's work and to the metaphor of spreading your wings. There is a heart and flames for trials, a chapel that is similar to Wesley Chapel and the door way to the prayer chapel which can be both that and a symbol of a doorway. Trees and nature because that was a large part of that time...

Pieces like this feel risky to me. The irony is that there is so little that people would understand without knowing me and the stories of that time of my life and yet this feels like it is all out there wide open--like someone reading my journal. It is interesting that we often feel like so much of our lives are right out there for the world to see when it is necessary to tell the stories and share about the pieces, otherwise they are just pretty or dynamic or...whatever.

Hope: What I'm learning from my art

“Hope”
Sept. 2009
By Sherri Baierl
Medium: Mixed (collage, conte, acrylic, graphite, silver leaf)
Notes: 1st place NWTC Art Walk, Shown at Gallery Night Downtown Green Bay, Shown at the ArtGarage 2009 & 2010

Hope is as elusive as a holding a bubble; like dreaming of having wings. Both are beautiful but not something that you can experience physically. And if you touch a bubble it pops unless you get those
creepy ones that never pop (and that just isn’t right).

Wings are something you can  touch but flight is not something we will ever really get to experience. We can wonder and dream. We can imagine. But that’s not the same. I was struck by the figure drawing classes I was forced to take, seriously, but later thankful for the experience (although conflicted about it). The woman drawn here always seemed like she was playing a role.

For some reason I always thought she felt like this was something she had to do. In my own mind I played with ideas like that she thought it would bring her something or provide an open door. I wanted to see what she was looking for sort of like when someone suddenly looks at something that catches their eye and all those around them look as well. But I never asked her.

In the image the woman is covered for a number of reasons, which I won’t go into here, but mostly because I think those of us who truly hope for something open up a very vulnerable place inside. And most of us won’t share it fully with others not unlike covering your body.

Hope is elusive, sometimes right in front of you and sometimes something you mourn over but vulnerability we venture toward off and on. Often, it is very personal and unspoken and there is a rare beauty in that.

LENT: what I'm learning from my art.

Last year I did this series of the stations of the cross and they really changed me through the journey. Not in big ways but little ones. It is, if you don't know, in traditional Catholic churches, a fourteen step journey though the Passion of the Christ. The Passion encompasses the events that lead to the crucifixion of Christ. This is station one. "Condemned" and followed by the next 13. The tradition is an exercise in reliving the events and experiencing different types of repentance and reconciliation with God. I used the modern day paraphrase "The Message" instead of traditional King James or New King James. I also only took fragments of the verses in order to narrow down on where my heart landed in the experience. It is not a true set of stations but it is true to me, my prayers and hopes and what stirred me when I moved through them at the time.

What did I learn? I learned that this large series took more time, thought, care and attention to detail than I had ever planned. It also came at a time of a large transition in life and the beginning of publicly showing my art. I experienced the pairing of research and invested time never really showing exactly what you learned visually and how it is both exciting to see the pieces and sad that people will never know what you learned. Some will walk by without even really reading the whole thing...some were moved to tears when they saw them.


Here is the Liturgy:
http://www.diocesepb.org/prayers/stations/station01.htm

 

Peace: lessons I'm learning from my art

“Peace” (“Dali Lama”) 
Jan. 2011 Media: Acrylic over Mixed Media 
Notes: Shown at Holland’s Gallery Night, Feb. 2011--brand new.  Will show at NWTC in April.

“Peace” was created as a trail image for a series I’ve created that will show at NWTC in their gallery space from April through May 2011. These images are mostly well-known people’s portraits done in a more contemporary fashion and over a brightly colored collaged background of some kind.   

This piece was started in summer 2010 while I was at Neville Public museum at their Studio 210 residency program. I created a drawing done with a heavy emphasis on straight black lines based on a figure in Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel, The Libyan Sibyl (left). I never felt the drawing was going anywhere and finally secured it to a board and painting all over it. Then this series of portraits began.   

The board made a perfectly good background for a portrait and just needed the right face. The faces are all based on “values” in today’s world. There is creativity, grace, honor and many more.   I read a bit about each person I painted or did digitally and the phrases that kept popping out for Dali Lama were all centered around peace and seeking peace.

I believe that Truth is universal, obviously I believe that Jesus is attached to that, and good values translate through culture, time and seasons of life.

What am I learning from my art? That people want something true, they are drawn in and captivated by people who share things that unveil that truth and that no matter your background, point of view or anything else if you respect one another enough to hear/see/experience those true things then you will be changed.

Relinquishing Control

There is this thing that happens in me when I want something. My mind clicks over into this pseudo-overdrive and I evaluate every angle and every possible scenario and try to find a particular combination of steps that will grant me access to that "thing"--whatever it is.

As I grow older in faith I am realizing how unhealthy this is for my spirit. Something sort of dies with this pattern, it takes the humanness and respect for the other party and chucks it out the window. The scenario is no longer about what is good, holy, pure, kind...it is only about me and a desire and my vision of the best reality. It leaves no room for negotiation, the movement of the Spirit or the heart and mind of the other party.

When I think of forgiveness it is also a similar situation but the converse. Even to one's self it is necessary to relinquish the ties that bind...lately I've had a lot of thoughts about the past and things I never really let go of. I came to the conclusion that I needed to forgive myself in order to move on. I've never actually talked to myself about forgiving myself but sometimes I'll visualize the other person and say, in my mind, "I release you from responsibility to me for____" and "I will not hold this against you any longer" and I am able to move on.

It's an odd thing when it is ourselves though. So, in short, I tried it sort of like a Stewart Smalley thing "(name), I no longer hold you responsible for no knowing where that would lead and I will no longer torture you for that decision. You could not have known." I think it is even weirder but then respond "(name), I accept your forgiveness." It is pretty remarkable how good that felt.

...He's Never Closer than When He's Pruning the Vine...

Listening to the radio, I stopped at this station with a preacher talking about pain and life. He said "I don't know who to attribute it to," so I don't feel bad about not attributing it to him either, " but I heard this quotation once: He's never closer to the vine then when he's pruning the branches." Sure, I guess I could go with that. I think that there are lots of other times as well, especially the lows, lonely times, frightened times...

I hope that God isn't pruning with frightened times--I felt the closeness of God when I walked in on my trashed apartment moments after it was burglarized. I also felt a different closeness of God when my father had a massive heart attack and almost died, when I decided to move across the country for college, when so many things had gone awry in a year that one night I just about lost my mind, I felt him there too.

Brother Lawrence wrote "Practising the Presence of God" and talked about cognizance through the moments of each day and continually practicing awareness of God in the present moment. And it is a wonderful and transformative idea when we begin to realize the care and love God feels for us in the mundane moments of laundry folding and making toast but there is a different depth in those other moments. Maybe because we are raw and vulnerable and all our emotions are accessible. Maybe because He knows our need and just really really wants to help. Maybe it is as simple as fulfilling promises in places like the Beatitudes and other places in the Bible.

I hope that God isn't pruning when He is close in those painful places, maybe it is all the same thing, all used for good...His love does change me. I guess then it doesn't matter so much about all the details, it just matters that He comes close.

Water, Cookies & Perception

My friend is amazing and tireless. She is baking cookies and selling them to build water wells. She didn't think she could do it. 

I always thought I could "encourage," like the Bible talks about, the kind of words that can put people back on on their feet so-to-speak. I had no idea that a few positive words and a phone call later a never ending shower of cookies hit the planet. Green Bay could quite easily be enveloped. 

It isn't the cookies or the water that has really changed me through this madness, though you would think that would, it is a lesson about our perceptions of life and potential that has changed me. 

A perception like "all I can do is bake" is so limiting...all it took was someone to say "that is perfect, you can bake!" and that perception went from limiting to infinite possibilities. 

We all need a cheerleader sometimes. It is difficult to change your perception if you are surrounded by people who say "can't" a lot or, for that matter, people who are good intentioned and are trying to protect you from getting hurt. 


If the thing you are thinking of or attempting can only fail, if that is the worst possible outcome (not death, foreclosure, disease...) then nothing should hold you back from giving it a try, no matter how wacky the pairing might be or how scared you might me. I doubt the African people who drink this water will think about cookies...but I know they will love a closer well; all because one girl followed a stirring in her spirit.

A couple other things to latch onto:
- if it is stirring in you then you will probably be given the resources to do it
- talk talk talk about your thoughts, no matter how scary or strange they might seem to you, choose wisely though, not everyone is open to brainstorming
- don't hold fast to the first version of the idea in your head
- be wise about spending any money, you don't want to resent the project when it is done

Art Instructor

The title just appeared when I put the cursor in the box so...it may have nothing to do with this post.

I've been overwhelmed a lot lately. Too many obligations, long hours freelancing, and a bunch of "want tos" that I try to squeeze in. The problem isn't the time I'm putting into all this stuff, it's my attitude. I, for some reason, default to believing that I need to live this life to the fullest. But being full isn't necessarily the heart of that message. 

I just don't rest lately. Hebrews has a wonderful passage or two about rest and entering into it. I seem to find that periodically and read it very slowly. One of the few I just can't make myself rush through. (Ironic, I suppose.)

It is so different knowing something and doing that thing. I know that a full life really depends on the ability to function well, be balanced and other things. I know it would be wise to rest and decompress so that it would be easier to enjoy things and cope with other things. So why don't I do it? Even after God tells me to rest, I do not. 

It's the "just one more thing, really quickly" or the "if I do this now I won't have to later" or the belief "there will be no time later." When it comes down to it, arrogance. If I don't do the things God asks me to do for my well-being then I must think God was kidding or God is dumb or I am smarter.