Israel notes

I had the pleasure of attending Troy & Tricia Murphy's photo presentation of his trip to Israel. I kinda liked the look of my notes and thought I'd share.

Threshold of Beginnings

Every new piece of art has a threshold to cross at the beginning. Once you are practiced in ignoring it or leaping over it you begin creating regularly.

I was looking through old images and found a few beginnings of art pieces. I remember the beginning of each one very clearly. I was careful and studied. The beginning had to be right for the rest to work. I suppose it is the same with life.

Here are some beginnings.

It is a beautifully orchestrated God-thing. Opening weekend of Blue Like Jazz.

One of my biggest struggles is waiting for God to reveal what's in the works. I'm a "gett'er done" type of girl. All this unfinished business is frustrating! I know God doesn't waste, I know God can use anything, I know God prepares us...but I'm wondering when something is going to make some sense.

There has to be a reason that the guy I loved moved (for his job) and left me after he said we'd get married, or a reason that I left a career to go to another and have fallen back into the original one. Or a reason for my childhood home getting demolished, my parents lived there for 35 years! Or for my apartment getting robbed...or...or...or...

Maybe I'm overly romantic about the grand scheme of it all but there has to be a reason for this stuff--all this trial, right?!

This weekend was the opening weekend of Blue Like Jazz the movie. I've had a blast watching the online updates, reading reviews, listening to stories, watching the Twitter feed and Donald Miller and Marshall Allman fake fight.

Mostly, my heart is encouraged beyond words. Armed with the knowledge, since around September 2010, that a Kickstarter campaign was taking shape--becoming a Kickstarter Backer on October 11, 2010 and getting updates since that time was remarkable. I even saw the bridge scene getting filmed while I was in Portland last winter!

I was surprised by the sudden info, way back when, that the movie might not happen and delighted when I found out about the campaign. No rain, no rainbows, right? I think I jumped in the pool after the first email, it  isn't normal for me to do that kind of thing.

But the campaign is the crux of it. It is a beautifully orchestrated God-thing. It is a redemptive story in two-fold, or three-fold, possibly even four-fold. Don's book--the essays about faith, life and embracing God in spite of everything. The story of the movie going from the cutting floor to something like 5000 people rejecting that and saying "we want this to happen." And finally the story of Don in the movie: being the voice for the silent Christians, the ones who can't find the words but have wanted to say the very thing he said so simply, "I'm sorry." And now as it sits with folks who saw it and we get to watch that unfold, too.

I see something much bigger than just a movie in this. I'm excited that I've finally witnessed how God's hand can work through a trial to render an amazing collaboration. It gives my heart hope for amazing collaborations between Him and me; it gives me hope that collaborations have already begun. That's what I want all the Kickstarter Backers to see, too.

Thank you to Donald Miller, Steven Taylor and the team who had enough faith to ride this out. You make it look effortless--and I'm pretty sure it is anything but effortless.

International Justice Mission and the battle inside

I heard about International Justice Mission a couple years ago. I was invited to be a part of an event and show my art where a coffee company, Storyville, was selling their coffee and telling a story about raising funds for IJM.

The company existed because the owner wanted to find a way to continually support the mission of IJM. Since that time, periodically, I hear more. At first it was too much for me to think about, human trafficking. I'd listen to stories but couldn't process the horror of much of it. Little by little I am getting familiar with the issues and slowly able to stomach some of the heavy issues.

But instead of looking away I am forcing myself to listen to the news stories, speakers and information that comes out. Two weeks ago I was sketching and realized I wanted to create some artwork around this topic and this organization. After watching some TV, ironically, one of the news programs was on human trafficking.

The statistics are awful and the saddest thing I heard was: because of fear people in this type of danger have a physiological change in their brains that essentially paralyzes them--they believe they are powerless. That made me think of the condition of their heart, powerlessness paired with hope--I want to believe that those who are rescued feel like their heart grew wings, and they are free. I know most will have a long journey ahead of them ... but that is my hope for them.

Please see: http://www.ijm.org/ for more information. Please get involved.

Joy in the midst of it all

I have this niece an nephew that are fantastic. They are great and they teach me a lot. She loves dressing up and playing with my paint. He loves crashing cars together and running around like a maniac.

They will devolve into giggle at a mere look and I love that I know what look makes it happen. They may be fuming mad and with one small glance smirks wash across their faces and they choose to forget what what unpleasant. I wish I could master that freedom of will as an adult. A pause button and a new mood, just like that.

I'm beginning to see prayer as an outlet for this. The older I get and more practiced in prayer, the more I see that it alone has the power to free me of the trials of the day and allow me to be more of who I know I can be.

When you hear a heart breaking.

I know Easter is supposed to be a joyful celebration. In my mind I understand that fully. In my heart I understand the great big sense of awe and wonder at the gift we've been given; I also have unanswered prayers.

We had a great service today. The message and music were compelling. This feeling that there were many people that were struggling just wouldn't leave me though.

It seems selfish to be concerned about daily life issues on Easter. I'll confess, I walked into the church building thinking about things I want, places I need to go, where I feel inadequate, the need for time to work on things, and  how torn I feel between all the musts and shoulds of life.

It should not have been surprising that a part of the message was about all our unanswered prayer and how today was larger than that. Today was about an invitation to believe the story and begin to live it out after all.

After leaving church with this hollow sense of "I should feel elated" and "Christ is risen!" I realized that Easter perspective is helpful but sometimes it isn't healing. The healing truth is: we have completely unselfish, loving God cares that there were a whole bunch of overwhelmed people in the room that had a hard time focusing because of the burdens of life, even on Easter. Yes, today was all about Him but He is all about us, Even on Easter.

If you still seek Him but did not come away with peace today..if you feel lousy for not celebrating and shouting "He is risen!" then we can both be released from guilt knowing Thomas did the same thing (he basically said "yeah, whatever guys, prove He's back. Prove He's here with us")--and Jesus sought him out to prove it.

I'm not saying tell God to prove He's here. I am saying, know He cares and He understands if you couldn't totally celebrate today.

Becoming a Woman of Integrity

As I work and live I'm always around powerful people. I don't know what it is about my life but it seems as though no matter where I land there is opportunity to rub shoulders with someone particularly important.

What seems to happen, because of this, I get to see other people at their worst. Pining away for attention and jockeying for position and attention, people can make a spectacle of themselves or say the most horrendous things.

It is difficult to keep my mouth shut, to stay focused on my faith, to not reason away the way I live or behave and to be honest about the depth of my faith. Half of the time I'd like to crawl under a rock and the other half, I'd like to start preaching about how it should be. I'm not that great at math but 50% plus 50% doesn't leave much for prayer, patience or a wiser course of action.

Needless to say but worth saying: I'm not perfect. I have no right to preach at others learning lessons I'm learning, too. After a life of praying and studying, hoping and tearing my hair out I've learned a couple things I believe scripture supports.

- Until someone subscribes to my brand, for lack of a better term, of faith I have no right to chastise or judge them. Even when they do believe just like me, the book of Matthew give some particular attention and detail on how we need to lovingly, patiently and quietly go about addressing things with people ... until that day I am commissioned to love and make disciples. Making disciples requires me to be one, therefore I better pray up and live right.

- I've learned not to keep score. It is really easy to tally up all the things you do for others and then wait around for repayment before you go on to doing more. I've decided that it is a huge waste of time and talent and resources. God doesn't keep track, He just pours out all kinds of gifts whenever and with no real regard for portions. We'd be in trouble if He did pay attention and paid us back in as much as we've given. The truth is that if we believe what Jesus said, what we do to others we do to Him--then there is only one re-payer anyway. All are one and one is the recipient. So keeping track is useless--bad math.

-I've learned that my story is interesting, compelling and special and that everyone I meet has the same thing going on. People who don't know Jesus the way I do would say I'm weird but can't argue with my sense of humor or ability to put things in perspective. No matter how my life is framed my stories seem to call people to do more with their lives even if it is only to reconnect with Jesus. People want to be validated and listened to. Agreeing with something they said is so important to them, just picking one small thing will gain you a life-long friend.

- I've learned that people want to see values that translate through all of your life and thinking. It is one thing to say that you live out purity, it is another to then tell dirty jokes or watch crap on tv. It is one thing to say that you support life, and then to support the death penalty ... It is important not to jump on bandwagons and to have values that are relative to your current mood.

- I've learned that our culture's readiness to champion women who dominate men is overrated. I believe we are all created in the image of God and one sex is not better than the other. At the same time there is some power in a woman who is filled with grace and peace that champions men. Both sexes should be celebrated. Men should not be afraid to be masculine and women, feminine. I resent that in many arenas men are emasculated. I resent feeling like I can't be feminine in some settings.

- I've learned that if I say I will, I need to. If I say I will do something I do it. It is more and more rare for people to have this happen, and just this trait exhibits integrity to most people.

- I've learned to be honest about my frustrations with Christians, apologizing when necessary for other Christians' missteps. I've had several people tell me about hurtful words pastors or those in authority have spoken to them. No one else is going to right the wrong. Often those telling me didn't even know the weight of the words until much later--and they've been carrying that with them for a while.  Truth without love yields judgement. Truth with love yields grace. People seem to be okay with truth when it is covered in love.

- I'm part of this Christian tribe and a lot of these Christians embarrass me. BUT it is important for me to claim them anyway. Unity is an often overlooked and underrated means to an end. Most of the new testament has a sub-theme of unity. I might not like some of what my family does but I claim them, I need to be the same way about my faith.

- Realize that I am a work in progress. I am not yet done learning what becoming a woman of integrity means. Each day reveals more and deeper truths. I'm learning to preface some of the things I say with: this is what I know today.

A solid foundation will set you apart.

Perfect marriages, no such thing

I'm not married. I have nothing of value to add to the topic. I have the privilege of being part of a large family that has many long-lasting marriages.

I listened to a podcast today, here:
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/media/relevant-podcast/podcast-interviews/27118-us-and-our-daughters

This is quite possibly one of the most beautiful reflections I've heard on the topic of sticking it out in marriage.

I think tonight I will pray for everyone that is married.

How to manage your time.

I always seem to find a lot to do. If it isn't part of my paid full-time job, which has often been busy, it is projects I take on.

I've learned quite a bit about time management. Here are some of the highlights:

- Keep an up-to-date "to do" list. More notes on that in another blog.

- Keep a detailed calendar. Write preparation notes on the calendar days and weeks ahead.

- Do small tasks first unless they are time consuming. This frees you up mentally and helps you feel like you finished something.

- Take breaks to do the things you enjoy and/or use those things as motivators to get through the things you don't want to do.

- Take the time to get very well prepared and organized before you begin a project. It seems like a waste until you are mostly through and then you will be thankful.

- Don't assume details. Ask about things even if you feel annoying. It saves time doing re-work later.

- Play out scenarios in your head and picture how it will work out, tweek processes you develop upfront, a time saver later.

- Take a Sabbath day. You are not a machine, do not work all the time.

- Before you get on your computer or internet make a list of what you need to accomplish in order to stay on-task. Allow yourself only a predetermined time on other sites if you are busy.

- Before making calls or sending replies, work through all the project in your head and go through other resources. Try to cover as much as possible in one call or one email. Make notes on open ended questions and ask for an action to be determined before you hang up or in your note. For instance, it could be that if there is no answer to your question that you will hear back by a certain date.

- Take note of what days of the week you are most effective and plan for the heavy-lifting those days. Most people are best suited for detailed work or fresh creative perspective right after a weekend or break.

- Being organized is a great time saver.

- Group tasks, if you need to go somewhere, also try to run other errands in that area or near that area. If you need to work on the computer, do several things in sequence on the computer.

- Try to avoid multitasking. If you are doing something, focus on that thing--especially if it is a detailed task like an inventory list. You will get more quality work done. Interruptions are inevitable but you can make some notes and go back to that task later.

- If you feel the need to do research on something, like how an app works, take the time to do it. But be specific about what you are looking for and don't get lost in your searching especially if it is online. Clarity lends to effeciency.

- Be proactive. If you are wondering about something, address it. Waiting for someone to come to you about an idea, work that is outstanding, etc. You will be more apt to do thorough work when things are fresh in your mind.

- Be friendly to all vendors and help them out. It has helped me get things turned around quickly when needed. A small detour for someone to help them out will save you time down the road.

- Take lunch, and leave the building most days. Try to change up your scenery. It reinvigorates you and helps you work better and longer when needed.

- Be aware of when you need quiet. I find that sometimes I get distracted by noise and it slows me down to almost a stop. It can be radio/tv, anything ... At that point I need to change tasks or find quiet.

- Talk with people who know what you don't. Don't be afraid to pick the brains of those around you.

... an a lot more ideas, but these are the best.

How to be more creative

Creativity is elusive for most people. From my observations: some seem to think it is a mystical force, or to others it is a trance that comes over you, or liken it to a place you go.

It is not that complicated. It is not mystical, at least most days. I believe it is a skill, when exercised, you are able to develop over time. More like flexibility in your brain muscle than anything else.

Here are the things I practice that help me be more creative:

- Open-ended  is your enemy. Boundaries are your friend. When observing students, I realized that the more open-ended the assignment the more they floundered. The more closed the end goal, the more they rebelled against the assignment. There is a great place between these two extremes that is a vague idea and yet clear direction. If you are able to master this in your own thinking it is a valuable tool. Instead of looking at a blank canvas and feeling like you should create a work of art give yourself a topic and theme. Like a bird painting using warm colors. Then search for inspiration.

- Change your scenery. It is true, if you go to a coffee shop to sketch and your normal environment is your home studio, you're going to stir something up.

- Do something relaxing that allows your mind to wander. I like to drive alone. When I do, I think. When I think, I unearth things that haven't had a chance to come to the surface.

- Silence. Sometimes silence is the best medicine, for the same reasons as the last. I will often wash dishes in silence. I get all kinds of ideas.

- Stimulate senses. Good food, bright colors, hot sun or a massage brings you to a different space and reinvigorates your look at the current day. I would plan to work the next day, not right after any of these necessarily, but it will re-engage your mind.

- Keep a sketchbook or notebook. This should be your idea file. A well-loved sketchbook has pages taped into it, writing, notes, directions, techniques, lists of artists ... I find it helpful to go through old sketchbooks and look for ideas as well as things I never full pursued.

- Keep materials at hand. Keep some portion of items to work with at hand so if there is a brainstorm you are able to go ahead and work it out right then.

- Schedule time. Block out regular time to work. Block it out with the awareness of when you are at your best. Avoid marathons if possible. I work better earlier in the week and do better backgrounds and research later in the week.

- Take a class. Even if you know a topic taking a class is a great tool in approaching a material differently--everyone handles the same media a different way.

- Talk to others about it. Talking stirs up the interest and desire to work, don't give away the end--that is yours to work out, just talk about what you may want to explore and get feedback.

- Explore your interests, draw from other passions. I am currently interested in Social Justice issues and plan on doing some art around that. I would not have done this 4 years ago, but now it makes sense.

- Make up your mind you are lucky. People who believe they are lucky are more open to possibilities.

- Play. Here and there, don't plan anything, just doodle or play. Try out a technique you researched and make a piece of art around it, that is a great way to play.

- Push through. If you are not "feeling" creative, work anyway. This does not include exhaustion.

- Word lists and mind maps. When I'm feeling a bit stumped I will make a word list. It is such a divergent way of looking at things because I am normally visual, it opens up a new part of my brain. If the topic is snow, you start by listing every characteristic of snow. To map it out, circle one word and draw a line and begin a new list. So, if snowflake was on my list, I'd circle it and begin a new list for it.

 - Divert to something totally different. I also love photography, pottery, digital work and pretty-much all other art forms. When I am at a place where I just can't look at another mixed media piece again then I will break out the camera or other media for a while.

- Irons in the fire. It is always a good idea to start something before you end the last thing. It helps the ebb and flow of ending a creative project and keeps your energy up and momentum high.

- Be curious. If an idea strikes you to explore, unless you are on a deadline, explore it.

- Mix and match. I often will have a couple working ideas started and set the aside, later I will go through them and match them up. Sometimes the most unexpected masterpieces come out of random pairings. A bright collage and Mother Teresa's face got paired up one day. Seems to be my most popular piece.

- Create even if you can't use your medium. I would love to do pottery at home, but it is not going to happen. Between the dust and the cost of running a kiln ... nope. It is important for me to create though. I work in other media that I know I am equally successful with.

- Use emotional energy. If you are particularly down about something or the opposite, try to work. I think these times also unlock parts of your brain and heart that are not always heard from.

- Exercise. I used to think that taking the time to exercise was just time away from useful work time but now I believe the opposite. Working out seems to allow more mental clarity, better energy and stamina and more flexibility.

And there are a lot more ideas ... these are just the best ones.