As I work and live I'm always around powerful people. I don't know what it is about my life but it seems as though no matter where I land there is opportunity to rub shoulders with someone particularly important.
What seems to happen, because of this, I get to see other people at their worst. Pining away for attention and jockeying for position and attention, people can make a spectacle of themselves or say the most horrendous things.
It is difficult to keep my mouth shut, to stay focused on my faith, to not reason away the way I live or behave and to be honest about the depth of my faith. Half of the time I'd like to crawl under a rock and the other half, I'd like to start preaching about how it should be. I'm not that great at math but 50% plus 50% doesn't leave much for prayer, patience or a wiser course of action.
Needless to say but worth saying: I'm not perfect. I have no right to preach at others learning lessons I'm learning, too. After a life of praying and studying, hoping and tearing my hair out I've learned a couple things I believe scripture supports.
- Until someone subscribes to my brand, for lack of a better term, of faith I have no right to chastise or judge them. Even when they do believe just like me, the book of Matthew give some particular attention and detail on how we need to lovingly, patiently and quietly go about addressing things with people ... until that day I am commissioned to love and make disciples. Making disciples requires me to be one, therefore I better pray up and live right.
- I've learned not to keep score. It is really easy to tally up all the things you do for others and then wait around for repayment before you go on to doing more. I've decided that it is a huge waste of time and talent and resources. God doesn't keep track, He just pours out all kinds of gifts whenever and with no real regard for portions. We'd be in trouble if He did pay attention and paid us back in as much as we've given. The truth is that if we believe what Jesus said, what we do to others we do to Him--then there is only one re-payer anyway. All are one and one is the recipient. So keeping track is useless--bad math.
-I've learned that my story is interesting, compelling and special and that everyone I meet has the same thing going on. People who don't know Jesus the way I do would say I'm weird but can't argue with my sense of humor or ability to put things in perspective. No matter how my life is framed my stories seem to call people to do more with their lives even if it is only to reconnect with Jesus. People want to be validated and listened to. Agreeing with something they said is so important to them, just picking one small thing will gain you a life-long friend.
- I've learned that people want to see values that translate through all of your life and thinking. It is one thing to say that you live out purity, it is another to then tell dirty jokes or watch crap on tv. It is one thing to say that you support life, and then to support the death penalty ... It is important not to jump on bandwagons and to have values that are relative to your current mood.
- I've learned that our culture's readiness to champion women who dominate men is overrated. I believe we are all created in the image of God and one sex is not better than the other. At the same time there is some power in a woman who is filled with grace and peace that champions men. Both sexes should be celebrated. Men should not be afraid to be masculine and women, feminine. I resent that in many arenas men are emasculated. I resent feeling like I can't be feminine in some settings.
- I've learned that if I say I will, I need to. If I say I will do something I do it. It is more and more rare for people to have this happen, and just this trait exhibits integrity to most people.
- I've learned to be honest about my frustrations with Christians, apologizing when necessary for other Christians' missteps. I've had several people tell me about hurtful words pastors or those in authority have spoken to them. No one else is going to right the wrong. Often those telling me didn't even know the weight of the words until much later--and they've been carrying that with them for a while. Truth without love yields judgement. Truth with love yields grace. People seem to be okay with truth when it is covered in love.
- I'm part of this Christian tribe and a lot of these Christians embarrass me. BUT it is important for me to claim them anyway. Unity is an often overlooked and underrated means to an end. Most of the new testament has a sub-theme of unity. I might not like some of what my family does but I claim them, I need to be the same way about my faith.
- Realize that I am a work in progress. I am not yet done learning what becoming a woman of integrity means. Each day reveals more and deeper truths. I'm learning to preface some of the things I say with: this is what I know today.
A solid foundation will set you apart.
