I know Easter is supposed to be a joyful celebration. In my mind I understand that fully. In my heart I understand the great big sense of awe and wonder at the gift we've been given; I also have unanswered prayers.We had a great service today. The message and music were compelling. This feeling that there were many people that were struggling just wouldn't leave me though.
It seems selfish to be concerned about daily life issues on Easter. I'll confess, I walked into the church building thinking about things I want, places I need to go, where I feel inadequate, the need for time to work on things, and how torn I feel between all the musts and shoulds of life.
It should not have been surprising that a part of the message was about all our unanswered prayer and how today was larger than that. Today was about an invitation to believe the story and begin to live it out after all.
After leaving church with this hollow sense of "I should feel elated" and "Christ is risen!" I realized that Easter perspective is helpful but sometimes it isn't healing. The healing truth is: we have completely unselfish, loving God cares that there were a whole bunch of overwhelmed people in the room that had a hard time focusing because of the burdens of life, even on Easter. Yes, today was all about Him but He is all about us, Even on Easter.
If you still seek Him but did not come away with peace today..if you feel lousy for not celebrating and shouting "He is risen!" then we can both be released from guilt knowing Thomas did the same thing (he basically said "yeah, whatever guys, prove He's back. Prove He's here with us")--and Jesus sought him out to prove it.
I'm not saying tell God to prove He's here. I am saying, know He cares and He understands if you couldn't totally celebrate today.
